Freedom to love your actual Christmas - November 14

The holiday season is upon us, and Cindy Orange spoke with us about "Loving your actual Christmas." We all know how overwhelming the holidays can be, but Cindy encouraged us to take time to take note of what you really want out of the holidays and to take some small steps to make sure that what's really important is given priority. Highlights of her talk are below. 

• What do I want? --> To honor Christ and why we have Christmas. To honor my family.
• Be intentional and secretive. You don't have to say "yes" to everything.
• Adjust your attitude and your expectations. 
• Choose to not blame others for you being stressed. All you can do i work on your attitude. 
• Let LOVE be the loudest voice! Choose to voice and hear love. 
• Intentionally spend tie with people who energize you. 
• Focus on forgiveness: Don't let forgiveness steal your Joy. 
• Spend time with God. 
• Everything doesn't have to be perfect. 
• Determine which tra'ditions you and your family want to keep and let go of the rest. 
• Get some sleep!
• Take time to exercise. 
• Get organized and write down the important things.
• Know your stress triggers and avoid them.
• Cast your cares on the Lord. Find quiet time to spend with Him. 
• Find time to stop and relish the moment. 
• What's One Thing you can do today to stay in the moment?

To help get in the holiday spirit, we put together potpourri bundles to fill our homes with a festive fragrance. If you were unable to make a bundle, here are the instructions to make your own at home.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• DON'T FORGET: Our Christmas Toy & Decoration Exchange is going on tomorrow, so gather up anything that you'd like to pass along to another family!
• In light of recent events, Crossroads is making security changes and will be locking the childcare hall doors during our meetings. Previously they were closed but now will be locked. This is a good thing to protect our kids! If you arrive to MOPS late or need to pick up early, please come to back corner table near the brunch line for coordinator Kara, Crossroads staff member Cindy, or MOPS Kids Coordinator Lauren (in Lacinda's Small Group) to open for you. 

Freedom in your marriage: October 24 meeting

CenterPeace hosted a marriage panel this past week, with couples sharing some of their experiences and advice for building a strong relationship with your spouse and parenting together. Here are some highlights of the panel.

• Intentionally connecting with one another
• Find time when the kids are in bed or not around. 
• Be face to face (no phones). 
• Ask intentional questions, not just generic "how was your day?" questions, but follow up on previous conversations.
• IDEA: Daily email serves as jumping off point. Mention things that happened previous day, things you are looking forward to, ask questions about what he/she wants. Talk about highs and lows of the day. Gives an opportunity to share about what’s going on in your life and provides topics to discuss later. 
• Find shared activities – family walks, going for a run, hobbies.
• Touch when together. Hold hands.
• Before bed, talk back over the day and what’s coming up the next day. Go to bed together.
• Connect phone calendars to be aware of what’s going on in your spouse's day.
• Having quality conversations
• Set aside breakfast or another time together. Go over what’s going on in your lives. 
• Schedule date nights. Talking with a table in front of you can help lead to real conversation.
• Conflict leads to quality conversations. Addressing conflict quickly, so it doesn’t get worse and become something they’re not addressing. Work together to determine what is the underlying cause.
• Stop what you’re doing, look at each other, and be open to what the other has to say. Make it a habit to focus on each other.
• Be intentional about staying away from phone when spending time together.
• Feelings are not RIGHT or WRONG. They are OUR feelings. It’s important to hear the other person out.
• IDEA: Schedule communication when needed. Go over 4 W’s: Wows, Worries, Wounds, Wishes.
• Dealing with being “over-touched”
• Go over expectations for sex. Spouse may not know what you NEED or WANT. 
• Don’t let resentment creep in. Have a talk about what that looks like for your relationship.
• Consider going to a seminar or counseling. A once-a-year check up is a good opportunity to discuss what's going on in your relationship.
• Scheduling intimacy can help. Understand the different needs and being able to discuss it openly.
• Know that God can heal marriage and unfaithfulness.
• Reminding your husband to do something you've previously asked.
• Be kind and provide a gentle reminder, rather than accusing of not doing something. 
• Ask: "What 1 thing can I do for you today?" and reciprocate for each other.
• Unity in discipline
• Read/discuss parenting books together. 
• If you disagree with a strategy, then lovingly correct each other at a later time, not in front of the kids. 
• Communicate expectations and check in about whether or not it's working for each child.
• Setting In-law boundaries
• Communicate expectations with each other, and then communicate those expectations with the in-laws
• Your spouse must come first. 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• DON'T FORGET: Tomorrow, November 7, is a small group play date. Our next MOPS meeting is November 14.
• We are so thankful for those who have helped with clean up after the meetings! This is a continuing need, so please consider joining our Hospitality team!
• Help us stay on budget by paying your dues. Please check with your small group leader if you are unsure what you owe. You can pay here by clicking "Register."
• We have 5 more spots open for our Share the Pie baking day on November 17 between 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Childcare is provided, but please pack peanut-free lunch. These pies will go to benefit StepUp ministry / Alliance medical ministry. Sign up here.
• Fundraiser orders for Butter Braid & Yankee Candle are due at our next meeting. These orders will be delivered on December 12. 
• November 28 is our Christmas Toy & Decoration exchange. Recycle your current toys and take home some new ones for your kids!
• Our next meeting will be November 14. Our own Cindy Orange will be speaking about "Finding my ideal Christmas." Lacinda & Megan's groups will be bringing brunch. Here's how you can sign up.