CenterPeace hosted a marriage panel this past week, with couples sharing some of their experiences and advice for building a strong relationship with your spouse and parenting together. Here are some highlights of the panel.
- Intentionally connecting with one another
- Find time when the kids are in bed or not around.
- Be face to face (no phones).
- Ask intentional questions, not just generic "how was your day?" questions, but follow up on previous conversations.
- IDEA: Daily email serves as jumping off point. Mention things that happened previous day, things you are looking forward to, ask questions about what he/she wants. Talk about highs and lows of the day. Gives an opportunity to share about what’s going on in your life and provides topics to discuss later.
- Find shared activities – family walks, going for a run, hobbies.
- Touch when together. Hold hands.
- Before bed, talk back over the day and what’s coming up the next day. Go to bed together.
- Connect phone calendars to be aware of what’s going on in your spouse's day.
- Having quality conversations
- Set aside breakfast or another time together. Go over what’s going on in your lives.
- Schedule date nights. Talking with a table in front of you can help lead to real conversation.
- Conflict leads to quality conversations. Addressing conflict quickly, so it doesn’t get worse and become something they’re not addressing. Work together to determine what is the underlying cause.
- Stop what you’re doing, look at each other, and be open to what the other has to say. Make it a habit to focus on each other.
- Be intentional about staying away from phone when spending time together.
- Feelings are not RIGHT or WRONG. They are OUR feelings. It’s important to hear the other person out.
- IDEA: Schedule communication when needed. Go over 4 W’s: Wows, Worries, Wounds, Wishes.
- Dealing with being “over-touched”
- Go over expectations for sex. Spouse may not know what you NEED or WANT.
- Don’t let resentment creep in. Have a talk about what that looks like for your relationship.
- Consider going to a seminar or counseling. A once-a-year check up is a good opportunity to discuss what's going on in your relationship.
- Scheduling intimacy can help. Understand the different needs and being able to discuss it openly.
- Know that God can heal marriage and unfaithfulness.
- Reminding your husband to do something you've previously asked.
- Be kind and provide a gentle reminder, rather than accusing of not doing something.
- Ask: "What 1 thing can I do for you today?" and reciprocate for each other.
- Unity in discipline
- Read/discuss parenting books together.
- If you disagree with a strategy, then lovingly correct each other at a later time, not in front of the kids.
- Communicate expectations and check in about whether or not it's working for each child.
- Setting In-law boundaries
- Communicate expectations with each other, and then communicate those expectations with the in-laws
- Your spouse must come first.
- DON'T FORGET: Tomorrow, November 7, is a small group play date. Our next MOPS meeting is November 14.
- We are so thankful for those who have helped with clean up after the meetings! This is a continuing need, so please consider joining our Hospitality team!
- Help us stay on budget by paying your dues. Please check with your small group leader if you are unsure what you owe. You can pay here by clicking "Register."
- We have 5 more spots open for our Share the Pie baking day on November 17 between 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Childcare is provided, but please pack peanut-free lunch. These pies will go to benefit StepUp ministry / Alliance medical ministry. Sign up here.
- Fundraiser orders for Butter Braid & Yankee Candle are due at our next meeting. These orders will be delivered on December 12.
- November 28 is our Christmas Toy & Decoration exchange. Recycle your current toys and take home some new ones for your kids!
- Our next meeting will be November 14. Our own Cindy Orange will be speaking about "Finding my ideal Christmas." Lacinda & Megan's groups will be bringing brunch. Here's how you can sign up.
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