We will be meeting 2 weeks in a row this month, to make up the day we lost to the winter weather. We hope you can join us next week, January 31, for another MOPS meeting at Crossroads Fellowship. We will return to our normal schedule after this. (Visit the dates page to see the schedule for the semester.)
This week we had a marriage panel of couples in a variety of stages in life talk about their marriage experiences and how they work on communication and conflict together. Here are some highlights from their answers.
What are specific examples of good communication in your
marriage?
- Take into account the way your partner communicates. Give time if necessary.
- Couch time: have time every day to sit down and have real conversation (started at 10 minutes). Talk about wow, worries, wishes, woes for the day. Children learn to be respectful of this time for parents.
- Hold hands, talk, look at each other, and don’t raise voices. Explain to partner your feelings.
Parenting: when parenting style clash – how to get on the
same page?
- When kids pit you against each other –be sure to check in with other parent.
- Read parenting books together.
- Attempt to have discussions ahead of time, especially when something new comes up. Don’t discuss in front of kids.
- As the woman, don’t jump in to correct.
- Don’t feel that you shouldn’t have conflicts/disagreements in front of your child (but maybe not specific to your kids), so they can see a model of the right way to clear up conflict.
How do you nurture your relationship in the midst of having kids?
- Asking, “What can I do to make your day better today?”
- The first moment he comes home sets the tone for the rest of the day.
- Reminders of getting into your child’s world.
- Allowing your husband to do things with child that are of interest to them.
- Getting the kids ready and excited for when dad gets home.
- Allow fathers to roughhouse with the kids.
Suggestions for how to see and respond to big conflicts.
- Counseling does not mean there are problems. It can help you work through things in your relationship by give you the opportunity to discuss underlying issues. Having a third person allows to have conversations that might be difficult to bring up when it's just the two of you.
- Commit to not using the things you know will set the other person off.
Women: how do you not become resentful of doing all the
housework? Men: how can women ask for help without being a nag?
- Don’t criticize, but praise and encouragement for help from him.
- Sometimes you just have to ask. Don’t make assumptions that he wants to be lazy.
- We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions.
- Don’t speak negatively about your husband to others. Build them up, don’t tear them down. Be careful of the words you use, because you can’t take them back.
What does your wife do that makes you feel supported and
honored the most?
- Speaking well of him. Being respectful in front of others. Not bringing up wrongs. Have conversation in private. Being their biggest fan.
Suggestions for helping dad unwind, but help out, too.
- Speak to each other and understand where the other is coming from.
- Help him understand that rejection can be hard on kids.
Opinions on date nights.
- Have set days that are time together, even if at home. Don’t make plans with others on that date.
- Consider going out every couple of months if more often is not feasible.
- Focus on talking about dreams and aspirations, and what’s really going on in your life.
Remember everything is temporary, but your husband is the one who will be there forever.
OTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS
Crossroads Fellowship is taking part in IF: Gathering 2017 on February 3 & 4. During this 2-day free simulcast event, we will join more than 1 million women from all over the world to seek God and see our own unique part in His story. (Note: there is no childcare provided for this event.) Friday, February 3 • Session 1: 7-10PM; Saturday, February 4 • Session 2: 10AM-1PM • Session 3: 3-6PM.
What did our MOPPETS do this week? Our little ones spent time learning about Ruth and how this story of redemption is an example of how God redeemed us through Jesus.
OTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS
Crossroads Fellowship is taking part in IF: Gathering 2017 on February 3 & 4. During this 2-day free simulcast event, we will join more than 1 million women from all over the world to seek God and see our own unique part in His story. (Note: there is no childcare provided for this event.) Friday, February 3 • Session 1: 7-10PM; Saturday, February 4 • Session 2: 10AM-1PM • Session 3: 3-6PM.
What did our MOPPETS do this week? Our little ones spent time learning about Ruth and how this story of redemption is an example of how God redeemed us through Jesus.
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